Where Is Your Marriage Certificate?

OK guys. It's time for you all to come clean. Are you really married? Can you prove it? Or have you just been saying it for so long that you believe it?
     Jane and I have been chasing the elusive temporary residency status for over two years now. Well, actually, I finally got residency through our company last October. Jane, however, still needs to be "residency-ized."
     We thought we had it handled last October when she applied as my wife. Since I am employed at the business,Jane can have residency that allows her to be with me (nice touch, that!). But we found out that we need proof that we are married.
     Any fool should be able to take one look at me . . . and then at Jane . . . and then at me . . . and realize that the only reason such a fine woman would share her life with me is if she were married to me. Clearly she must have memories of what this relic was before the renegade hoards of time and gravity took their ugly toll. However, here nothing suffices unless it is stamped, signed, notarized, stamped, certified and, oh yeah, stamped.
     Since we had a trip scheduled to the States in time for us to bring back a certified marriage certificate, we did just that. Certified by the DuPage County Clerk with all the attendant seals and stamps.
     When we returned to Addis Ababa, we learned that the certificate must be certified by the United States Embassy here. Jane went down there and found that our poor County Clerk has no pull at all. The certificate must be certified by the state government in Springfield. So we got a one month extension to Jane's visa (not hard, but time consuming) and asked our son to get new certificates from the Country Clerk, send them to Springfield to be certified (again) and then send them to us here.
     That process continues even as I write this, but -- Jane's visa extension expires tomorrow, February 2. So today Jane asked for another extension, which she obtained . . . along with a verbal warning that this is the final extension. If she doesn't have residency in thirty days, home she goes!
     We are pretty certain we can get the certificates here in time, thanks to Express Mail International. All it takes is a Customs Declaration and $44.95. When the certs do arrive, she can take them to the U.S. Embassy and have them certified. Then she can go the Ethiopian Ministry of Foreign Affairs and get them certified that they have been certified by the U.S. Embassy. Finally (we hope), she can take them along with a lot of paperwork to the Ministry of Immigration, where they will (pray here) grant residency. Whew!
     So back to our original question: Are you really married? Maybe you should just check to see if you can find that little piece of paper that holds such potential power. If you can easily lay hands on it, please let us know. If not, there's an even better story. At the very least, it's an excuse for you to email us. Trust me, your little notes and comments mean more to us than you could ever know.
     We are not worried. The Lord brought us here and wants us to stay here, at least for now. This simple tale is told just so you can live life along with us in the Land of Thirteen Months of Sunshine.